Remembering The Crash

sometimes, I hate sleeping. I hate dreaming. Your presence still haunts me when I wake and terrifies me when I dream. There are some days I want to let go and join both of you there. How is the little one? Too bad I'll never be a father. I think I would have been a good one, like my Dad. I shoyuld have listened to you when you tried to tell me the secret. I got drunk but I was soo happy. Our lives were about to change for the better... and that's when I lost you. I want to believe that there's some meaning to your absence but instead I have to wear this ugly mask everyday so I can be human and not be seen for who I really am. Sometimes I forget you are gone... I have a job and I've learned to smile. Every night I try not to let it all end. I miss you so much...